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Showing posts with label Bigfoot captured. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bigfoot captured. Show all posts
By now you may have heard that some super secret, well funded, military styled bigfoot research group has managed to capture a living breathing bigfoot! Yes I know it's amazing news, no one in the world can even get a clear picture of a bigfoot but this fine group has captured one. All that training and protocols have finally paid off. We have no idea where this event took place, but it don't matter.  It was also reported that Navy Seal Team 6 was at first invited but later they were ruled out due to lack of training.

So now we can piece together how they might have did it.

First, it was reported, that they used the trap pictured below

Actual trap?

But after a few days the beer was still there, it was later found out that the bigfoot in this area were non drinkers, maybe even Mormons but I don't know... anyways the group had to step back and then step it up with a better bigfoot trap.
Behold the better mouse...errrr a .. bigfoot trap.


BOOM! It worked! all these years, research and funding has paid off ! Yeah we know it's cardboard but todays cardboard is really, really strong.
The bigfoot was soon named and moved into a cage build for one, it's like a rule or protocol or something that you have to name any bigfoot you capture or kill. Sadly no one had a digital camera or cell phone at the time of capture, only one of them 1984 instant polaroid thingy's...were you push the button and out came a blurry photo.


Yes, Daisy is in the Cage !

But what happened next was the really amazing part.


Oh No! Someone might get in trouble, so Daisy was released and all documents, photos and evidence was destroyed! Not only that the people involved had their memories erased by that cool gadget seen in the Men in Black movies. Oh yes they are real....Our Government uses them on the American citizens through the TV, How else did Obama win re election?



But wait that is NOT the end of the story - after this story was leaked out on purpose the web hits just kept coming, so much in fact the forum web page has been crashing out. So in an effort to tell the story and satisfy the masses and their out cry ...There will be a MOVIE! Yes a movie and the title and art is already done.

The names, color or the bigfoot, location, all records and ect...have been changed to help the people involved live a normal life, well as normal as a person can with an erased memory, but other than that the movie is reportedly really accurate.
Filmed in Glorious Black & White...well originally it was in color but you could see the zipper too much on the bigfoot costume so it was changed to black and white! Look for it on Netflix in 2013 and we hear there is even a special dial up modem version for those without high speed internet.
Audio Book version coming soon.  Everyone is hopeful it will get better reviews than that one crappy syfy bigfoot movie with that dude from The Brady Bunch show and that red headed crazy guy from the old hippy show where they played music on a weird painted school bus.


So there you have it the scoop on the captured bigfoot.

Thanks
ES


 [This has been a humor guest post by Elephant Sac, he works for peanuts ]




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Lair Of The Sasquatch!
Tom Biscardi

TCC - Just in case you hadn't heard.. Tom Biscardi has discovered a secret bigfoot Lair (possibly a hollowed out Volcano) in Mississippi! He has also alerted the authorities....what  authorities no one really knows...maybe the bigfoot police or the MIB or just a gang of kids with a dog named scooby.....just not sure at this point.
Anyways I was reading the latest about Biscardi on Bigfoot Evidence blog and a  Anonymous poster posted up a good list of Tom Biscardi hoaxes....I'm sure there are more we don't know about  but...anywho... here is the list....and thanks to "anonymous" for sharing the info. Of all the famous hoaxers I find Tom Biscardi the most entertaining but very rarely will I give hoaxers any coverage.
Remember this is NOT my list but was post by an anonymous person.



List of Tom Biscardi's Hoaxes:

1971
- While with Ivan Marx, Biscardi was nearly attacked by a charging Bigfoot. Marx shot the creature while filming at the same time. Later they tried selling the absurd footage for $25,000.

http://www.cryptomundo.com/cryptozoo-news/byrne-biscardi/

2004 - Photographs a laughably bad Albino Bigfoot (in 2001). Uses it, along with some empty promises to try to lure a corporate sponsor to fork over $1.5 million so Biscardi can lead an expedition in a valley where he claims 500 bigfoots are living. It never takes place.

http://www.ncbuy.com/news/20040115/0-big-expedition-planned-for-albino.html


2004 -
Worst looking fake Bigfoot ever "eating lunch". Biscardi takes credit for snapping the photo himself while with Peggy Marx. Posted on his publicist's website and many others back in 2004.

http://www.cryptomundo.com/bigfoot-report/tom-biscardi-update (Bottom Picture)


2005 - False claim of filming Bigfoot versus Bear on his PPV webcam service while promoting his PPV website

http://www.csicop.org/sb/show/the_bigfoot_legend_lives


2005 - Biscardi attempts to organize a Bigfoot Expedition open to the public for only $5,000 per person while assuring everyone of a Bigfoot capture.

http://www.northcoastjournal.com/072105/news0721.html (A 1/3 down, under "BIGBUCKS")


2005 -
Infamous Bigfoot Capture Hoax on Coast 2 Coast

http://www.cryptomundo.com/cryptozoo-news/biscardis-c2c-legacy-i-was-hoodwinked/


2006 -
Horrendously Faked Bigfoot photos Biscardi promoted from an encounter.

http://www.cryptomundo.com/bigfoot-report/ny-bf-search/


2006 -
Bigfoot hand in a jar

http://www.cryptomundo.com/cryptozoo-news/bfhand/


2008 - Georgia Bigfoot Hoax

http://www.oregonbigfoot.com/georgia_bigfoot_dead_body_in_freezer_dyer_whitton_biscardi.php#claim


2009 -
Bigfoot Toenail hoax

http://www.cryptomundo.com/cryptozoo-news/toenail/


2011 - "Authenticated" Biscardi Bigfoot video turns out to be a leaf.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufSmTxyCxDE


Dr. Melba Ketchum Releases statement about captured Yeti -

 "For those of you who are commenting to me on the alleged Russian BF captured, it will not affect our study at all in a negative way. No worries. The video doesn't look like the ones in North America AT ALL. I speak from personal experience."

2nd Statement by Dr. Ketchum - "The arms and legs are shorter, not shaped exactly correct. the gate is wrong, not in line and graceful. Hands and feet too small, I can go on but you get the idea."




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File this one under lol? Live yeti Is Captured!Watch videos it shows the creature.


28/12/2011, in Ingushetia caught Bigfoot. The border guards to survey forest in Dzheyrahskom area, found a strange creature two-meter. "Some say it is Bigfoot, others - that big monkey", - told the media the Minister of Labour and Social Development of the Republic. According to him, had he ever seen. "The animal looks like a gorilla, about two feet tall(bad translation should be about 6.5 feet tall), dark in color, presumably a female, is very large. Usually based on front-gorilla hands, and that stands upright like a man. Growls and publishes incomprehensible sounds "- said the Minister. Caught being brought to the zoo. The official said that the animal is very frightened, eats mostly meat and vegetation.



Direct Link in Russian : (http://news.mail.ru/inregions/caucasus/6/7721949/?frommail=1)

Ingushetia frontier guards, in the Caucasus region, have detained a snow woman two in tall, similar to the yeti.

"Several days ago in the Dzhejrahskom area a hunter had seen what he thought to be a bear seize a sheep and drag it into the woods. The hunter had gone after it, and fired some shots and the animal jumped up on two legs and disappeared into the forest. Today frontier guards spent time in the district doing a sweep and in a small hollow detected a strange animal, " states Ingushetia Minister of Labor and Social Development Bagaudin Marshani.

The yeti is was taken to a settlement in the Surhahi of area Nazranovskogo Republic and placed in a zoo. The Republic Minister confirmed, that the caught animal – was two meters tall, does not speak, making incomprehensible sounds and eats vegetative and animal food.

Experts from Moscow have been dispatched to examine the subject.

here is a couple of still shots




TCH - looks like a person in a suit to me ...yet another fake.




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