Friday, December 28, 2012

Breaking News Bigfoot Captured ! (Humor)

By now you may have heard that some super secret, well funded, military styled bigfoot research group has managed to capture a living breathing bigfoot! Yes I know it's amazing news, no one in the world can even get a clear picture of a bigfoot but this fine group has captured one. All that training and protocols have finally paid off. We have no idea where this event took place, but it don't matter.  It was also reported that Navy Seal Team 6 was at first invited but later they were ruled out due to lack of training.

So now we can piece together how they might have did it.

First, it was reported, that they used the trap pictured below

Actual trap?

But after a few days the beer was still there, it was later found out that the bigfoot in this area were non drinkers, maybe even Mormons but I don't know... anyways the group had to step back and then step it up with a better bigfoot trap.
Behold the better mouse...errrr a .. bigfoot trap.


BOOM! It worked! all these years, research and funding has paid off ! Yeah we know it's cardboard but todays cardboard is really, really strong.
The bigfoot was soon named and moved into a cage build for one, it's like a rule or protocol or something that you have to name any bigfoot you capture or kill. Sadly no one had a digital camera or cell phone at the time of capture, only one of them 1984 instant polaroid thingy's...were you push the button and out came a blurry photo.


Yes, Daisy is in the Cage !

But what happened next was the really amazing part.


Oh No! Someone might get in trouble, so Daisy was released and all documents, photos and evidence was destroyed! Not only that the people involved had their memories erased by that cool gadget seen in the Men in Black movies. Oh yes they are real....Our Government uses them on the American citizens through the TV, How else did Obama win re election?



But wait that is NOT the end of the story - after this story was leaked out on purpose the web hits just kept coming, so much in fact the forum web page has been crashing out. So in an effort to tell the story and satisfy the masses and their out cry ...There will be a MOVIE! Yes a movie and the title and art is already done.

The names, color or the bigfoot, location, all records and ect...have been changed to help the people involved live a normal life, well as normal as a person can with an erased memory, but other than that the movie is reportedly really accurate.
Filmed in Glorious Black & White...well originally it was in color but you could see the zipper too much on the bigfoot costume so it was changed to black and white! Look for it on Netflix in 2013 and we hear there is even a special dial up modem version for those without high speed internet.
Audio Book version coming soon.  Everyone is hopeful it will get better reviews than that one crappy syfy bigfoot movie with that dude from The Brady Bunch show and that red headed crazy guy from the old hippy show where they played music on a weird painted school bus.


So there you have it the scoop on the captured bigfoot.

Thanks
ES


 [This has been a humor guest post by Elephant Sac, he works for peanuts ]




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8 comments:

  1. You guys make fun of this story, but you believe freezer boy? Seriously?
    Now THAT is humor!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hmm if you will look in my post about dyers story I have stated I don't know if it is true or not. but as Anonymous stated at least there is a video to help support rick's claim. All we have on the captured bf story is a few post on a forum. One of our team Members is talking to DW Lee I think about this . If anything comes of it I will post it.There is just way too much hoaxing in the bigfoot world in my opinion.
      Thanks

      Delete
    2. Even if this story is true, that was a funny post. He works for peanuts, classic. As for freezer boy, i have stated my opinion of this ape like man-boy before. I would find it incredibly ironic if he were the "chosen" one, of all people, because he is entirely incredible(as in unbelievable). Hoaxing is certainly rampant in this field. Everything is suspect until corroborating evidence presents itself. I do enjoy a good laugh at the expense of BF though. Just to clarify, i have no opinion of the veracity of this claimed daisy. The story is rather exceptional whether true or false.

      Delete
    3. yeah I agree...I know I sure needed a break from all the dead/captured bigfoot stories ... why people feel the need to make up stuff I'll never know...I guess they get a kick out of it or something.
      out of all the recent stories the captured bigfoot one is the weakest at this point ... Only 2 post from Ed Smith got the ball rolling ...lol ... everyone says Ed is a fruit cake but I don't know.

      Delete
  2. Freezer boy at least has a video, this story has nothing so far

    ReplyDelete
  3. Love it...lol, its sad that people keep putting out these bs claimes. Makes it hard for those of us who have seen, and beleave in the big guy to keep faith in the protection of such an amazing animal.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm going to capture the Loch Ness monster this week. I want to start the new year with a MAJOR discovery! Please be advised however it's purely catch and release, and I plan to drain the Loch following putting ole' Nessie out to sea. LOL....released.

    Great article. Needed the laugh...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Daisy in the cage..LOL. I'll look up freezer boy...

    ReplyDelete

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