Monday, May 14, 2018

Do You Have A Split Personality?





Do You Have A Split Personality?
The Paradox of Fragmentation

By Dorraine Fisher

Why is it so hard for us, as humans, to be authentic? To just be ourselves with no outside interference? It’s because we’re broken into hundreds or even thousands of pieces, literally. You not only have a dark side. You have many dark facets to your character. But the question is whether or not those dark facets are really bad like we’re taught to believe.

We’ve seen them in movies like The Three Faces of Eve and Sybil, people with such severe multiple personality disorder, or more correctly, dissociative identity disorder, that they have become completely dysfunctional in society. Their psychiatrists can summon any one of many of their personalities by asking to talk to him or her. And we watch as one person displays many different and opposing sides to him/herself.

And we think to ourselves, “Wow! I’m sure glad I’m not like that. I’m sure glad I’m normal.”

But are you normal really?
I’m here to tell you that you also have multiple personalities. If you were raised in human society, there is no escaping it. Your “self” as you understand it to be, has been fragmented by your life experiences. And this has done damage in you that you may have never seen before. You have dissociative identity disorder right now.

You may be in denial about this. You don’t want to hear it. That’s fine. You can choose not to read this any further, or you can turn around and face yourself. We all think we have one personality like we have one body. But how many times have you been challenged by a situation in which you were forced to summon a side of you that was strong and capable, albeit temporarily? How many times have you found yourself feeling so broken that you just wanted to be nurtured and held for a while like an infant, only to get up the next day and face the challenges again by summoning that warrior in you again? Only to be crying later that night because it was all too much? How many times have you described someone as a “Jekyll and Hyde?”  This is fragmentation. Multiple personalities occupying the same body. And there can be any number of them inside you, depending on what kind of life you’ve lived.

When we’re born, we start out our lives with one personality. We are totally whole and integrated within ourselves. This is arguably the one time in our lives when we are actually our genuine selves. Before all the damage is done, we’re pure.  But human offspring is the most dependent offspring on the planet. For nearly twenty years, we depend on our parents for everything we need. And here inlies the problem.

Our parents, in the name of raising “good” children, instead of allowing us to develop as unique individuals, attempted to mold us by a particular standard that they have set. And this standard was probably given to them by THEIR parents or the society you lived in.

For example, let’s say you were raised in a family in which you were judged by your level of productivity. Your worth was determined by how much you accomplished during the day. And any time you wanted to play for the sake of playing, or sleep in, or lie around and watch TV during the day, you were basically scolded and told you were bad. You didn’t get anything done, so therefore you were deemed unacceptable by your parents. You may have been shunned, lectured, sent to your room, or even physically punished for not behaving in the way that was considered acceptable in your household. And worse than that, your parents did not distinguish the difference between being bad and doing bad. So you came to learn that if you do bad things then you must be a bad person. And since children internalize everything, then if you are a bad person, you’re therefore unlovable. And everything you need in life from your parents could potentially be taken away if you’re unlovable.

So your problem becomes, how can you not be “bad” and how can you become lovable again so you can continue to get what you need? And there’s only one answer. You fragment yourself. Since you depend on your parents for everything in your life, and since they’re your parents, the people you trust the most,  they must be right about you. So you shun that “unacceptable” part of yourself, just like they did. It splits off from the “acceptable” part of you, and you push it back into your subconscious mind, where you think it’s gone. But guess what? It’s still there. And every time your parents pushed you, against your true alignment, to fit their standard of what you should be and punished you and withdrew their love when you didn’t conform, you fragmented yourself, or split your personality again. It’s quite possible that the more rigid and strict and unloving your parents were, the more fragmented you’ve become.

And if you think this only happens in underprivileged families or unloving families, think again. Fragmentation happens in the seemingly most loving families. Any time you may have been having some kind of emotional meltdown as a child and you cried or were visibly upset and they told you to stop acting out,  because they didn’t have the time or the energy to be with you in that moment, you fragmented yourself. Since they withdrew from you when you were in that state, then being upset must be unacceptable, and you fragmented that part of yourself too. And this can happen many times.

But here’s the worst part: Fragmented children grow up...and they attempt to conduct their lives and have relationships in this state in which they consider certain parts of themselves unacceptable and unlovable. So they go through life putting on a performance of sorts for the rest of the world. And they only reveal the side of themselves that was, ironically, acceptable to their parents or the society they grew up it. Since they weren’t their authentic self, they ended up with the wrong life partner and lived a lifetime with a person that may have been completely wrong for them.  And they raise their children to also become fragmented adults by invalidating the things that make those children unique individuals and lovable simply for being themselves.

So, when people say they want to be whole again, they may not realize it, but this is what they are talking about. We don’t really think about it until a fragmented person becomes a Sybil or Eve and completely dysfunctional, but our fragmentation or multiple personalities are no less significant than theres were. 

This is why it’s SO hard for us to be ourselves. This is why it’s so hard for us to nurture our own identity and just be who we really are, feel what we really feel, and do what we really want to do.  Because we were trained at an early age that being that person is unacceptable and therefore unlovable. So we go through our lives living a script that was given to us by someone else; someone that has no idea who we really are and frankly doesn’t care. And there is no worse thing we can do to ourselves than to deny ourselves of who we really are. It’s the hallmark of all mental illness.

And it’s not just parents that do it. We grow up doing it to each other. Any time we tell another person that they’re wrong for feeling the way that they do or believing what they do, or that they’re unacceptable for doing something different, we are emotionally abusing them. We’re pushing them into yet another fragmentation. And it’s all because we were taught a particular standard for what’s acceptable.

This is a disease of unbelievable magnitude that permeates the entire human population.

So, imagine, if you will, like Rod Serling always said, living in a world where everyone could express themselves openly without judgment or emotional abuse. Now, that’s a game changer.

*******DF







This Post By TCC Team Member Dorraine Fisher. Dorraine is a Professional Writer, photographer, a nature, wildlife and Bigfoot enthusiast who has written for many magazines. Dorraine conducts research, special interviews and more for The Crypto Crew. Get Dorraine's book The Book Of Blackthorne!




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1 comment:

  1. Get an evaluation by someone who specializes in dissociative disorders and trauma. There are now psychological tests that can tell definitively whether you have it or not.

    ReplyDelete

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