Monday, February 26, 2018

Ego - The Scariest Monster Of All Is Inside You



Ego - The Scariest Monster Of All Is Inside You
Is Yours A Monster Too?

By Dorraine Fisher

Throughout our entire lives, we hear a lot about the ego. And we think we know what it is. Most people believe that a person with a big ego is a person with an over inflated view of him or herself, or a person who’s narcissistic or conceited. And, though those things are true, they’re not all there is to the ego. We all fall victim to our egos. Psychiatric professionals battle this monster throughout their entire careers, attempting to make people understand and conquer their egos.

So, why is it such a big deal?
Because our ego has sharp claws that dig deep. It is something that, if not kept under control, can completely ruin our lives. That’s why I call it a monster. And yours is probably simmering under your surface undermining your happiness right now. But you’ve gotten so used to it that you probably don’t even realize it’s controlling your entire life.

We all have a true self and a false self. Our true self resembles what we were when we were a child, before we were corrupted by the world.  Our false self is the ego. It’s that person you were taught to be from the time you were born. Or that person you were taught to be as a result of the abuse of others.  From the moment you came to be, you were told there were certain things you needed to accomplish in life. You were told you were supposed to behave a certain way and that there was a certain image you were supposed to project. And a long list of things you were supposed to do. And all this information and the abuse came from people you loved, respected, and trusted. So you bought into it, in a big way. And you may have spent your entire life trying to live up to this standard that other people have set for you. The claws have a tight grip on you.

But what happens if you can’t live up to the standard?

That’s the monster side of ego. After a time, you take these expectations that others have of you and you internalize them and you think they’re yours, but they aren’t. They’ve all been given to you by society and other people whether you asked for them or not. And since you think they belong to you, if you can’t live up to them, you become unhappy. Perhaps even deeply depressed.

So what do you have to get rid of in order to take the power away from your ego and loosen those claw’s hold on you?

First ask yourself if you really want to know. Because this stuff is what you’ve identified with your entire life. This monster has been following you around for a long time and it’s attached itself to you pretty hard.  It’s not that easy to let it go. But it IS possible. That is, if you really want to feel better. So here goes. If you really want to know it and try it, here are what the experts say you must stop doing in order to stop this monster inside our minds:

1. Stop needing to win. Not everything is a competition. Friendly competition is a good thing, but obsessive competition is harmful to you. It’s telling you that you have to be the best no matter what. And that is not true. It means that when you lose, like people do occasionally, you are somehow defective as a human being. Don’t do that to yourself.  

2. Stop being offended by everything. Dr. Wayne Dyer said “When you’re offended by something, it only weakens you. It creates the same destructive energy that offended you in the first place.” When you’re offended by someone, you’re giving your power away to the offender. But, in reality, no one can force you to be offended. It’s your choice to be in that state. See that, and you’ll take your power back.

3. Stop wishing things were different than what they are right now. And this is a tough one. We naturally want to resist what is if we don’t like it.  But experts say if we learn to go with the flow more and understand that everything that happens is happening for a very good reason, leading us to a better outcome, or the outcome that we’re supposed to have, we allow ourselves to be more peaceful in the current moment. It’s, at least, a better alternative than being upset all the time. Of course, resist the atrocities of the world, but pick your battles and be more accepting of what is happening on a daily basis. Often times, it’s leading to a better outcome by simply taking you on an alternate or uncomfortable route.

4. Stop thinking you’re superior. You’re no better than anyone else on the planet. Many insecure people are constantly trying to prove how smart or strong they are in order to establish themselves as superior, all the while trying to hide the fact that they feel very small and insignificant inside. While at the same time, inviting others to constantly challenge them or call them down. It creates a never ending cycle of needing to prove yourself, which isn’t necessary. Set yourself free and stop trying to prove you’re superior. No one believes it anyway.

5. Stop judging. This is a hard one too. We’re actually taught throughout our entire lives to judge others and that it’s okay. But it couldn’t be less okay. We judge others for only one reason, and that is to make ourselves feel superior to them. And remember that when people are judging you, they’re also looking down on you too. Let’s stop the madness and just stop all judging.

6. Stop people-pleasing. Learning the word “no” can go a long way in making YOU feel better. Stop constantly saying yes to everyone and give yourself a much needed break. You’re not required to do everything for everyone, and if anyone tells you differently, tell them “NO!”

7. Be yourself. Don’t suppress yourself. As hard as it is sometimes, try to take little steps to being your real self. Do what YOU like to do. Say what YOU like to say. Be what YOU like to be without worrying about what other people think. And when the idea scares you, remember that other people struggle with this idea and are too scared to go through with it. Anything you can do in the direction of being yourself today is more than most others have done in their entire lives. Feel proud of yourself. And more people will identify with the real you.

8. Stop worrying about your reputation. It’s largely open to interpretation, anyway, based on how each individual around you feels about you. That’s why, with everyone you know, you have a different reputation. It’s not worth the energy you put into it, and it’s fake anyway. It’s just a mask you hide behind. Burn the mask and set yourself free.

So what do you think? Can you tame the monster inside you? Like most monster hunts, you have to walk through some dark, scary places like the places monsters live. But once you do, there’s no need for an ego any more. And strangely, in this case, you find the monster is already dead by the time you get there.

**********DF






This Post By TCC Team Member Dorraine Fisher. Dorraine is a Professional Writer, photographer, a nature, wildlife and Bigfoot enthusiast who has written for many magazines. Dorraine conducts research, special interviews and more for The Crypto Crew. Get Dorraine's book The Book Of Blackthorne!


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