Finding bigfoot - really?

This is a Special Guest Post by Elephant Sac.
ES works for peanuts and has odd opinions and insight about many things.
He is somewhat humorous so we give him space sometimes.


Well, first let me thank the crypto crew for allow me another chance at posting my thoughts about bigfoot stuff. I don't post often but sometimes it's better than driving a nail in my eye....or playing soccer with them kids .....just sayin'

Well tonight I was watching Finding bigfoot ....you know that show should be renamed to "we are never going to find bigfoot"  .... is this show just some kind of mean joke or what? First it starts off with a go kart video of some slim Jim looking dudes who capture a "bigfoot" walking in the woods...bigfoot was just coming around hoping for a ride on the go kart...maybe bigfoot needed a lift to Wendy's for a hot and juicy worm burger ...but any ways ......after NOT thoroughly debunking the brown jacket wearing ,go kart stalking bigfoot ..the show moved on ....everybody and their 2 day old cousin started seeing "eye shine" in the forest ....well everyone but the viewing audience watching the show ...then an amazing Tree knock is heard ...but only by the finding bigfoot cast ....they are part Dolphin or something and have above super hearing or something ....I almost blew out my windows trying to hear that knock..I turned up my surround  sound to 11,  ...but sadly elephants don't have super hearing or something ...because I couldn't hear the tree knock ... Then it was on to a NEW idea ..."lets use whale sounds to lure out bigfoot" ..who knows maybe bigfoot is a Moby Dick fan ....and of course this worked about as good as airing up your car tires with a nail gun.
Finally the torture ended and the show went off....I was so glad to just view another program I could have even watched MSNBC ....ugh.

Here is the possible and maybe just a rumored but upcoming show of "Finding Bigfoot"

The Experts at finding bigfoot are going to use .....wait for it ......wait for ...in involves a Walrus ....wait ...Yes ....they are going to sound blast sounds of  walrus's Farts on top of the mountains in a effort to bring the bigfoot out in the open ..... I had no idea bigfoot love the sounds of walrus farts....
well anywho .....I have obtained an exclusive sneak peak of Pat the walrus ...ahh I mean Pat the farting walrus ....and here is a photo and a sample fart...



Pat the walrus has spent years developing his body flute (he once trained with monks in Thailand) and just waiting for his big moment ...and it is finally here ... thanks to the fart listening experts at Finding Bigfoot ...Pat finally gets a big break to break big wind!

But wait that is not all ....in one of the rumored upcoming shows of Finding Bigfoot ...Rene gets naked (ugh) and rolls in peanut butter and puts on ear rings made of bacon in a effort to (a) attract a bigfoot or (b) a date ....not sure about that ...sorry.
Cliff gets a new toy to play with on the show....this is a new technique that the cast came up with...it seems that if you make a lot of fake bigfoot tracks other real bigfoot will come to the area....who knew?

Here is what it looks like...that may be Cliff's leg ...I think he shaves them ...but I don't know

So I guess you want to know where ol Moneymaker and Dumbo...I mean  BOBO are ...well It is rumored Matt is still on the phone with Rick Dyer ...why you ask ...well he is trying to get Rick to round up some of them homeless people ..you know they see bigfoot all the time at True Value hardware.....and a box of ribs and help them find bigfoot....I think the plan is to strap some ribs to a dude and let him run through the woods screaming "FREE RIBS, FREE RIBS".... while Dyer shoots a gun randomly in all directions....and Moneymaker uses the Therm ... ...but I don't know .....Dum..ah Bobo ...is just waiting on the ribs ...he likes to eat ...and he will be standing there with rib sauce dipping off his face...should be funny....he reminds me of that Fat guy on Austin Powers...you know the one who wanted to eat a baby.  

well there you have it ....looks like some more exciting times coming up on Finding Bigfoot .......I think I'll take up painting ... or maybe that gig with Bugs Bunny is open ....I can still throw a baseball.

Thanks
ES


[The views and opinions expressed by Elephant Sac are not necessarily those of  The Crypto Crew]





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